New Army Education
by TheWritingDampire
Summary: "Mr. Deeks, a word?"   We shared a look as he walked past me in tail of Hetty. It said, 'this is not gonna be good.' I forced a smile and he forced a grimace. I agree, Deeks. I agree.
1. Chapter 1

**PLEASE READ!**

**I'VE JUST FINISHED RE-DOING ALL THE CHAPTERS**

**It would be great if you took the time to read through this again because the ending might not make much sense with out it. Soooo before you click on the button to take you to chapter 7, please re-read :)**

**Thank youu :)**

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><p><strong>Hello people of NCIS:LA. This was something born from my english lesson today... I probably should've been studying but anyway... here's the poem and I'll post the Prologue on the next chapter :)<strong>

**Enjoy:)**

**Diclaimer: i don't own :(**

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><p><strong>New Army Education<strong>

_Annonamous soldier WW1_

_I learned to wash in shell holes, and to shave myself in tea_

_While fragments of a mirror did balance on my knee_

_I learned to dodge the whiz-bangs, and the flying lumps of lead_

_And to keep a foot of earth, between the snipers and my head_

_I learned to keep my haversack well filled with buckshee food_

_To take my army issue and to pinch what else I could_

_I learned to cook maconachie with candle ends and string_

_With a four by two and sardine oil, and any old darn thing_

_I learned to use my bayonet according as you please,_

_For a bead knife or a chopper or a prong for toasting cheese_

_I learned to gather souvenirs that home I hoped to send_

_And hump them round for months and months, and dump them in the end_

_I never used to grumble after breakfast in the line_

_That the eggs were cooked too lightly, or the bacon cut too fine_

_I never told the sergeant just exactly what I thought_

_I never did a pack drill, for I never quite got caught_

_I never stopped a whiz-bang, though I've stopped a lot of dirt_

_But the last one that Fritz sent over with my name on was a dud._


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's the prolouge :) bear in mind this took me three tries to write because my computer is insufferable -.- **

**Enjoy:)**

**Disclaimer: what do you think?**

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><p>"Mr. Deeks, a word?"<p>

I looked up at the sound of Hetty's voice. What could she want with him? It had been a quiet day of paperwork. Even Deeks was behaving, which was surprising in itself. I shot a look over in his direction and then turned to look at Hetty. I instantly wished I hadn't. All I wanted to do was rewind what was going to happen next and pretend they never, ever happened. That's why Nate's making me write this journal, he thinks it's going to help me "let out my closed up feelings". Sure it will.

Deeks looked at me reluctantly. I forced a smile and he forced a grimace, baring his teeth and looking like he was in pain. Little did we know, the pain was still to come. I followed him with my eyes as he trailed after Hetty mournfully. Only when he was out of my sight did I let my smile sink like my heart.

Feeling Sam and Callen's eyes on me I shifted in my seat and tried to get back to work. It was after I read the same work twice that I sighed and tossed my pen back on the table. Enquiring eyes studied me once more and I'd suddenly had enough.

"I'm going to get some air," I muttered quietly, rocketing out of my chair and hurrying as fast as possible to the firing range. I had to get rid of this sinking feeling and if putting holes in inanimate objects was going to do that, I was willing to do it. This was not going to go well.

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><p><strong>AAnd thats the prologue :) let me know what you think and if i should go on or not :) see that button down there? Thats so you can tell me if this is gonna suck :)<strong>

**TWD**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's the next chapter :) not reaallyy sure what I think of it... anywayss .. Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: Maybe if I'm good and pass all my exams? **

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><p><em>I learned to wash in shell-holes, and to shave myself in tea<em>

_While the fragments of a mirror did balance on my knee_

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><p>Today was a quiet day in OSP and I was kind of beginning to miss Deeks' insistent chatter. Things had been too quiet this past week that he's been gone. To be completely honest. I think I was starting to miss him. Not just his chatter, but him and his shaggy hair and scruffy half-beard thingy. I'm starting to miss him buying me donuts and coffee, just so he can see me smile. He always says it's to stop me from being grumpy, but lately he'd been making unexpected visits at two in the morning. Because he was <em>bored<em> apparently.

I sighed deeply, glad that Callen and Sam were out chasing bad guys for the fifth time this week, being partner less had put me on desk duty because I didn't have anyone to watch my back. There were benefits for sitting alone for hours and hours though. I could let my emotions run free. I didn't have to put on a happy smile for everyone to see. I hated that people kept asking if I was okay. Do I look okay to you? My partners gone god knows where and I'm stuck on desk duty.

I don't know how long I was sitting there for before I heard Nell's quiet voice pierce my internal rant.

"Kensi? Something came for you. It's from Deeks."

Deeks' name was the thing that _really_ made me listen. A letter? How did he manage that?

"Um, thanks Nell," I slowly stood and took the very weathered and yellowed envelope. How did it manage to get here so fast?'

"I think he sent it with the cop that he was replacing," she slapped her hand over her mouth as her eyes widened in shock, "I wasn't supposed to say that! I'm sorry Kensi, this conversation never happened." Slapping her hand back over her mouth she ran back up the stairs, probably to tell Eric what happened.

Unfortunately, Nell running away left me with more than a few unanswered questions. How come he had to replace anther cop? How dangerous _was_ this mission? Would he come out unscathed? When did it finish?

I glanced down at the envelope in my hand and spied my name in his unique handwriting, surprised that it was legible. I knew that Sam and Callen would be coming back soon and, knowing Deeks, he will have written something really embarrassing or rude-just to make me blush. I didn't need monkeys hanging over my shoulder while I read. I cast a quick look around and headed to the stationary room. Who uses stationary anymore?

Apparently not may people. There were notepads and plastic wrapped packages of pencils stacked as high as the roof with about half an inch of dust covering every surface. At least I knew no one would come in here. I wiped the dust from a particularly large pile of notepads and got comfortable. With one last look at the envelope, I ripped it open.

****_Dear Fern,_

_It's been a week since I left and I know you're probably going to kick my ass for saying this but I miss you. I miss you and I even kinda miss Sam and Callen. Only just… don't tell them that. Please. I'll even buy you a donut from my 'classified location' if you do. That is, of course, if there's a donut shop in the middle of nowhere._

_I bet you thought that I'd never be able to wash in anything other than a shower that has running hot water 24/7. Well, do I have a surprise for you? Wherever the hell I am has no running water, forget about the temperature. Its monsoon season though, so the shell-holes are full of water. Muddy and totally disgusting, but it was water. You'd be proud and also a little disgusted. It's really gross._

_You know what? I bet you miss me too. I bet you miss my shaggy hair and my scruffy beard. Not to mention my dashing personality. Yep. You're really gonna kick my ass. Anyway, now that you've admitted to yourself that you miss me and my shaggy beard. I've got some bad news for you. It's gone. All of it. I know, I know. It's a tragedy, but I learned something from it. You're not going to believe this but… you can actually shave in tea. It's kind of amazing. _

_I bet you're imagining me clean-shaven and I bet you don't like it very much. No, I bet you don't like it at all. Never fear, Fern, it'll grow back. Hopefully before I have to come back. But if you miss my shaggy handsomeness at any time, just head home and say hello to Monty. I _know_ you took him in. Don't look at this letter in that way. I know you Kens. _

_Anyway, I'm being yelled at. _Again. _I s'pose some things never change. Send Nell, Eric and Hetty my love. And Callen and Sam. Well, not really Callen and Sam, they'll kick my ass after you do. Don miss me too much because I sure as hell miss you. I'm not sure how long this thing is going to run for and I don't know when I'll get time to write again. My cover is deep and it's not a very nice person. _

_Missing you,_

_Deeks _

Classified location? Explains why we hadn't heard anything from him. Donuts? Really? I think I'll just settle for him being home. Re-reading the letter I blushed again when he mentioned me imagining him with no beard. It was kind of, really, strange. I could only ever see Deeks with that shag that he calls a beard. I hope it grows back before he gets back on home ground. For my sake, and his.

I figured that I should make use of all the paper and pencils that I was littetly sitting on. Sam and Callen were surely missing me by now, but I didn't care. Deeks had taken the time to write to me. Surely I could find time to reply.

_To Deeks,_

_I'm holding you to that donut…_

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><p><strong>Not sure about how well I stayed in character in this chapter... Oh well, let me know what you think.. reveiwas actually do make me write faster.. And thankyou soo much to all the people who put this story on alert. I love you for it :P<strong>

**TWD**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, before I say anything else... ASUYLBTDKHVDZJ! The Debt was AMAZING! even though it didnt go the way i wanted it to... okayy thats over.**

**Here's a new chapter, I know heaps of you have this on alert, even if you dont reveiw and i wanna say thankyou :) so, Thankyou :P **

**Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: me? no :(**

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><p><em>I learned to dodge the whiz-bangs, and the flying lumps of lead<em>

_And to keep a foot of earth, between the snipers and my head_

"Jeez, Kens. What's in your pants?" Callen asked looking slightly unnerved at my constant squirming. I was really hoping that the wouldn't notice, looks like I can't fidget as discreetly as I thought. Besides, it's not really my fault I was antsy. It's been two weeks since I sent my reply. No answer.

"Nothing, just too much coffee I guess." I could tell he didn't believe me but at that moment I didn't really care, because Nell had just come bouncing down the stairs with a huge smile on her face. We'd decided to keep this whole letter thing to ourselves, he wasn't supposed to be sending them in the first place and, boy, would I cop a whole load of crap from the boys if it got out that I was playing pen-pal with Deeks.

"Hey, Kensi? Can I speak to you please?" the knowing look on her face had me almost bouncing out of my chair, hardly noticing the interested looks of the two partners.

"Yeah. You better take her Nell, she's been bouncing around for an hour now. Even _I'm _starting to get jittery, just from watching her." Typical Sam, I shot him a playful glare and happily followed Nell out of the bullpen. I could still feel the partners' eyes on me, but I didn't really care because I was finally getting my letter.

"Nell, you better have good news for me. I think I'm going crazy. I don't know why and I don't know how, but I think I miss him. A lot. Please tell me I'm not crazy." I was being serious. Sometimes I couldn't think straight, normally after I thought of something stupid he would say or if I remembered something he said at a totally inappropriate moment. He really needed to come back. Soon.

Monty would agree with me. All he's been doing lately is pining at the door. Even when I take him to the beach he spends the whole time looking out at the surf for his mate.

Nell said nothing, just smiled knowingly and handed me a worn yellow envelope. My heart leaped and _something_ spread throughout my body as I reached out and took the thing that I had been craving to read for two weeks. I felt a real smile adorn my face for the first time for a while as I registered his neat scrawl. I looked up to thank Nell but she was already gone. She really was turning into Hetty.

After a quick glance around for prying eyes, I made my way to my hideout. I managed to get rid of most of the dust but the odd dust bunny or two hung around.

_Dear Kensi,_

_I almost died yesterday. Before you freak out though, I'm fine. Just a few scrapes and bruises. To quote you, "you ain't getting rid of me that easy". It's really nothing to worry about; a whiz-bang almost got me and trust me. They're not as fun as they sound. I s'pose I learned the hard way to keep a foot of earth between the snipers and me. _

_Stopped panicking yet? I hope you have because I really am fine, Kens. Really. So, how's Monty? I knew you would take him in and I cant thank you enough, I don't know how long this op is gonna be or if I'll even come back from it. Wow, I can't believe I just wrote that. I wish I had more than just a pen so I could white that out or something. Don't worry Fern, I'm coming back. Even if it kills me. _

_How's everyone back home? I'm really starting to miss you guys. A lot. I wish I could tell you where I was and what I was doing. I also wish I didn't have to write these letters in secret. If they found out I was writing them, I'd be screwed. Big time. That doesn't mean that you can't reply because I think that your letter is the only thing that's keeping my sane at the moment. They don't even have real food here. It's killing me._

_I have to go now. The boys are staring to think something's up. Please reply. I miss you._

_Non-dead Deeks._

I don't know how he manages to do that. Make me smile, even when I'm upset. I wont pretend my heart didn't beat a little harder in my chest when he said he almost died but he managed to make me smile again. Like he always does. God, I miss him. So, with a small, sad smile on my face I started writing. I needed to tease him about his picky eating habits.

**There you go :) Chapter two. hope you liked itt. I really hope you reveiw because they give me really good ideas and of course they make me write faster:) '**

**TWD**


	5. Chapter 5

**Another chapter:) Just because I've finished my exams and I'm not looking at a year 10 school book ever again. Ever. **

**Enjoy :)**

**Diisclaimer: I finished exams...I still dont own it :(**

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><p><em>I learned to keep my haversack well filled with buckshee food<em>

_To take my army issue and to pinch what else I could_

Two months. That's how long he's been gone. Two. Whole. Months. I don't even know when he's coming back. I don't even know if he's _coming _back. Apparently I'm not doing a very good jobs of hiding my feelings from the temp that I've been assigned with.

"Agent Blye, are you alright?" too formal. He doesn't even want to know my answer. That much I can tell from his beady, little, back eyes, like he wants to be anywhere but here. Yeah, well, me too buddy, me too. He's just worried that I might screw up his OP. Yeah, right. Try _my_ OP.

"I'm fine Brooks, lets go get this guy." As we snuck around the outside wall of an industrial complex, I couldn't help but think about how much safer this felt with Deeks. Natural even. But with Brooks, I was worried about my back more than I should have been. When it sounded over comms that they had already caught the guy when he was trying to slip away, relief flooded my body for a reason I couldn't tell.

"What do we do now, Agent Blye?" he looked at me with earnest eyes, like he was a small child, looking up to his mum. A small, very sinister looking child. I didn't bother telling him to call me Kensi because, I really didn't want him to. I don't know why. Maybe it was because it's been more than four weeks since I got a letter. Maybe its because if Hetty's brining in a temp, she thinks he might not even come back. Apparently LAPD has been very tight lipped about his situation.

"We go home." Home, that sounded so good right now. But I had to go back to OSP to see if another letter had arrived. I _need_ a letter or I think I might die of worry. He was almost killed last time we'd been in contact and now I haven't heard form him for over a month? Not cool, Deeks. Not cool.

As for Brooks, I didn't trust him. Not in the slightest. By the looks of things, neither did Sam and Callen. The man just _looked_ like he had an invisible sign above his head saying "Don't trust me! I'm secretly a murderer!" He had slightly olive skin and he had oily black hair that he combed back away from his face. His nose stood proud and pointy in the middle of his face, casting a shadow over his thin lips that never seemed to smile. If I met this guy in a dark ally at night and I wasn't a special agent, I would run for my life.

_Dear Kens,_

_Seriously? Tease _ me_ about_ my_ eating habits, Miss eat a whole tub of ice cream when I'm emotional. Seriously though, its so hard to get food out here it's not funny. I just stuff my rucksack full of whatever they give me and steal what else I can. It's not really that bad. Really. I'm just whining. I promise._

_How's the new guy? I hope he hasn't been annoying you as much as I do. That would mean that you wouldn't miss me anymore. Except for my awesome hair of course. Bet that go you to smile. If you're wondering how I know, Nell told me. She's been giving me a rundown of how you've been acting too and you gotta stop._

_ I don't know when I'll be back and by the looks of things my bosses haven't been in a sharing mood. I'm fine. Really. I we were talking face-to-face right now, I wouldn't be smiling. That's how you know that I really am fine. As long as you smile and keep writing to me, I'll be smiling. I'll also want to stay alive for longer. Just remember that, Fern, you keep me alive. So be happy. Even if the new guy's a jerk. _

_I'm coming back, he wont be there forever. I hope. I almost made a friend today. After two long months, I finally met someone worth spending time with. Bet you thought it'd take me longer, didn't you. I think you'll like him too. I can't mention names but what I can tell you is that he's one of the good guys. Someone I can be myself around. Not just my cover. In fact, he's standing watch right now for me. He's a good guy Kens and I hope you can meet him when I get back. Because I _am_ coming back._

_ I know I keep saying that, but its true. I'm going to come back to you Kens. Stop worrying. Stop worrying about whos covering your back because I'm sure the new kid has got it. And stop worrying about mine. I know it took me a while to reply but it should be more consistent now. We just ran into some totally not-dangerous trouble. _

_Your no-longer-in-danger partner,_

_Deeks_

I may have to have a small chat with Nell. Leaking news of the team to Deeks. Telling him how I've been acting. I wont pretend I didn't need reassuring but still…

I sighed heavily and looked around my hideout and then at my watch. I'd been in here for half an hour. How had that happened? Brooks would probably be looking for me by now. Wanting to look down his long nose at me for no apparent reason and then sucking up to me like a teacher's pet.

After reading my letter, I realised what it was that annoyed me so much about him. He wasn't annoying. If that makes any sense. He was _too_ serious. Always formal. And just, _creepy._ I don't think I've really seen him smile. Now I know how other people felt when they were working with me before Deeks came along. I must have been horrible.

My phone vibrated with a text: **where are you? **

Great. Brooks had started to miss me. Sorry Deeks, you letter is going to have to wait till later. I've got a temp to look after.

I made it was far as touching the door handle before I realised Brooks can wait. I sent him back a text saying I went out for lunch and settled myself back into the notepad chair, tore a sheet of paper off and started writing. He helped me when I need it, now it's my turn to repay the favour to keep him alive.

**Yayy! I finished another chapter:) Thankyou for all you awesome people who reviewed i love you all :D Let me know what you think about where this is going and what you think about Brooks, I'm not quite sure what to do with him yet *smiles evilly* youll just have to stay tuned :)**

**TWD**


	6. Chapter 6

**New Chapter :) Sorry it kinda took a while... I spose i just kinda hit a wall with this but its back on track now :) **

**Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: nope :(**

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><p><em>I learned to cook maconachie with candle ends and string<em>

_With a four by two and sardine oil, and any old darn thing_

It's 11 at night, I haven't had any coffee since about 8 this morning, I'm stuck here doing paperwork, Brooks is annoying me and I haven't received a letter from Deeks yet. Yep. My life sucks. It was a pretty big case that we had just wrapped up. One that kept me distracted from the fact that my _real_ partner was out somewhere trying not to get _killed_. Now that it was solved, it left me with a truckload of paperwork and about fifty different scenarios about what could be happening to Deeks at this point in time.

_Was he all right? Had his cover been blown? Did he get blown up? Shot? Betrayed by a man he thought was his friend?_ These were all questions that I was asking myself that were accompanied by delightful little images of that exact thing happening. Concentrating on work was definitely a no-go. Too bad teachers-pet Brooks was already finished. I wouldn't mind sneaking some of my work into his significantly smaller pile. He wanted to be the senior agent anyway.

Actually, this was the third time he had breezed through all his work and rushed out. Sam had been drilling him _really_ hard, harder than he drilled Deeks, and Callen was being more suspicious than he should've been. Great. They're hiding stuff from me. Again. He's probably just gotten a girlfriend and I could've been reading into Callen and Sam. God, I was really tired. Maybe if I just lay my head down on the table for a couple of minutes…

I woke up to the hairs on the back of my neck standing up, a quick glance at my watch told me that I was two in the morning. Great. The unsettled feeling was sticking around and I couldn't figure out why. I looked around the darkened bullpen. Everything was quiet; everyone had gone home, leaving me alone in a huge dark building. I quickly gathered up my things and was about to make a dash for the door when I noticed something fall out of the stack I was carrying. It was small, rectangle and looked suspiciously like an envelope. The funny feeling intensified as I bent down to pick it up. Tossing the other paperwork unceremoniously back on my desk.

My heart lurched as I read the now familiar scrawl of my undercover partner and a grin made its way across my face. Standing back up, I pondered whether to just sit at my desk and read it there or to go to my usual hideout incase someone forgot something and decided to come and get it at two in the morning. The nagging feeling I had moved my legs towards the stationary closet and before I knew it I was sat on the familiar notepad, chair, inhaling the musty air and had ripped open the envelope.

_Dear Kensi,_

_Boy are you in for a culinary experience when I come home from this. It's amazing what you can make of nothing when you put your mind to it. I learned to cook maconachie with candle ends and string. Bet you didn't know that was possible. Neither did I until my new friend taught me. You know what? I'm sick of calling him 'my friend' all the time. From now on his codename will be Steve. Don't ask me where that came from 'cause I don't know either._

_I have another surprise for you. They let me grow my beard out again! No more shaving in tea or anything like that. Apparently it helps me blend in while we're on the run. At least you don't have to imagine me without a beard anymore. Well, only until the bad guys decide that it's too scruffy and get me to shave it again. And, with these guys, you do what they say or you die. I'm not even kidding and the guy that I've turned into isn't the guy that resists that kind of stuff. It's kind of like being an animal that they think that they can train. I probably shouldn't be saying any of this but I have to tell _someone_ or I think I'll go mad. And that wouldn't do much for my 'bad guy' rep now would it?_

_So, enough about me… how are you Kens? How's the new guy going? Callen and Sam? I don't think words can describe how much I miss you guys right now. LAPD wouldn't allow me to take photos with me on this. Even if I pretended you were family. I can see where they're coming form but not having your face around makes it hard. Even though you are writing these letters, which I love you for by the way. They have been the only things keeping me grounded out here. I hate the guy I have to become soo much and sometimes I don't know if I'll ever be able to be Deeks again._

_Wow. That sounded depressing. I s'pose this is just finally getting to me. Oh well. I'm tough, Fern, I'll survive. Because my boss finally contacted me and I think I might know when this finally ends! I don't think I've ever been this happy about the end of an OP. normally I don't want it to be done because it means that I have to go back to being plain old Marty who has no fun in his life. But now, I have something to come home to. People who enjoy my presence rather than despise it. I cant thank you and NCIS enough for that._

_I would make this longer but my buddy, Steve, is telling me that we have to get a move on or we'll get left behind. Reading back over this I realise that I just brought you in on my little pity party. It's not really that bad. I'm just whining 'cause I wanna come home. Which I will be soon. I miss you and Monty soooo much._

_Marty_

Well, this was just what I needed to read at what was now half past two in the morning. Poor Deeks. Hearing that he's on the run doesn't do much for that amount of worrying and stressing I've been doing over the last month or two. Because, if he's on the run, he's in danger. And I still don't know if I and trust my partner… or his.

It took a bit of convincing but I finally steeled myself over and tore off a bit of paper to write my reply on. I was going to hold him to his new cooking skills.

**That was kinda longish... Oh Well :) Let me know what you think and I might that a break from putting up my epic christmas lights to write a new chapter... if you're lucky. I hope you like the mystery of Brooks :)**

**TWD**


	7. Chapter 7

**So, uumm, H there...please dont kill me for taking so long to update, I've been sick and my motivation for writing has been abandoning me lately. but its back now, at 12:15 on a Thursday morning, so here you are :) Thanks to all you AWESOME people who reviewd this and put it on alert. i love you all. Merry Christmas**

**Enjoy :)**

**Discalimer: i did wish for it when i was writing this and i looked up and my clock read 11:11 but nothing has happened so far :(**

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><p><em>I learned to use my bayonet according as you please,<em>

_For a bread knife or a chopper or a prong for toasting cheese_

" Are you sure you're okay Kens?" Callen's concerned voice pulled me from my silent suffering. I was feeling like crap, and it didn't seem like it was going away anytime soon. Everyone had been pressuring me to go home. But I couldn't. I still hadn't gotten my letter from Deeks.

"Ah, yeah. I'm sure Callen. Probably just a head cold. It'll go away eventually." _I hope._

"Uh huh, so were just throwing up in the lockerooms before for a different reason then?" he smirked at me with a smug look on his face. I just sighed in defeat. It was one thing to lie to him when he didn't have proof, but now that he knew how sick I really was? I had no chance of going anywhere but home.

Brooks, as per usual, was already gone. His speedy paperwork skills still leaving me and the rest of the team baffled as to where he was. I mean, sure, Sam and Callen hadn't been as hard on him as they usually were but that's only because he was a temp. Temporary, while Deeks was away. Being stuck on stakeout with Callen had taught me that I wasn't just imaginging things, he was seriously suspicious of the new kid. Hetty hadn't said anything so far and he was adapting well for someone that has to put up with my hostile self. Even if he was still annoyingly formal. God, I missed Deeks.

"Fine," I managed a halfhearted glare in his direction, "I'll go. But if Nell comes down here looking for me, tell her I went home." Hopefully she would take the hint and make a surprise visit to deliver the letter that I've been looking forward to for a long time.

Looking mildly surprised at my unenthusiastic response, he just nodded. As I picked up my things and made my way outside, I could feel his eyes watching me.

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><p>I woke up the next morning to the blaring sound of my alarm clock piercing my not-so-peaceful sleep. I tried to groan and roll over to whack the alarm clock, but instead of a groan coming out of myself came a wheeze of air instead. Crap. This is not good. Sitting up slowly and reaching over to turn off the alarm that was threatening to burst my newly sensitive eardrums, I tried to form words. No use. Still only a weak little wheeze. This was not good at all.<p>

I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower. Hoping a long soak under the hot steam of the shower would rejuvenate me enough to get me to work. Stumbling out an hour later, I sat on the edge of the bed and considered going into work anyway. Callen would sure get a kick out of that and maybe I could infect Brooks while I was at it. He still put me on edge, and it wasn't just his sleazy, oily appearance. He's barely there anyway. Before getting up I tried to speak again, this time resulting in a coughing fit that had me curled in the fetal position. Still no sound came out. So it's settled, I thought to myself as I carefully peeled myself off the floor, I wasn't going anywhere today.

Settling myself back in bed I reached for my phone and was halfway through typing in Hetty's number before remembering that I couldn't speak. Looks like I was texting into work today.

After about two hours of lying sprawled in bed feeling miserable a loud knock on my door jerked me back from whatever dream world I was on. My heart lurched for a second with anticipation until I realised that it wasn't going to be Deeks at my door, coming to feed me chicken soup and to cheer me up. The knock sounded like thunder against my throbbing head as I sluggishly walked from my bedroom to the door.

I opened the door and leaned heavily against the doorframe, "Callen, I swear to god I'm _fine_ – oh, wait. You're not Callen." When I realised that whispering wouldn't really get my point across, I looked up to tell him with my eyes, I stuttered in surprise as I realised it was Nell that was standing at my door – not Callen. Oops.

"No, I don't think I'm Callen. And you look like crap, no wonder you stayed home today. I just came to deliver a certain something. I think it'll make you feel a whole lot better too." She smiled and handed me the, now familiar, yellowed envelope and left.

"Thanks Nell," I stage whispered as I watched her walk off. I shuffled over to the couch and collapsed onto it petting Monty as he jumped up to join me. This I what I had been waiting for, for what seemed like an eternity. I eagerly ripped open the barrier that was stopping me from reading about my partner's latest exploits in his undercover world.

_Kensi,_

_I probably shouldn't have motioned that I was on the run in my last letter… I assure you, _I'm fine_. The running part has mostly stopped for now and they've made me shave again. I know, it's horrible, but I gotta do it, 'Sergeants orders'. And believe me, you **always**__ have to follow the sergeants orders. One of the guys in my group didn't, and he never was quite the same since. Aaanndd I probably shouldn't have said that either. Trust me Fern, as much as its killing me, I haven't talked back or anything during this whole OP. It's killing me on the inside, don't you worry about that._

_ Also, when I get back, I challenge you to a knife fight. My new buddy, Steve, had some pretty wicked moves with knives that he was willing to teach the 'D-Rock'. I bet you never used your knife to toast cheese now did you? Yeah, didn't think so. Looks like the one-upper just got one-upped. Kidding, don't kick my ass when I get back. Please._

_I'm glad you and Monty have been getting along well. I wonder if I'm going to be able to tear him away from you when I get back, I have been gone almost a year now. Wow. That's a long time. I cant believe its almost Christmas and I might miss spending it at the shelter with you and Monty. God, I miss both of you. I'm trying as hard as I can to get this wrapped up before Christmas, just so you wont spend it alone, drinking beer and eating ice-cream. Just do me one favour, if I'm not home, go to the shelter for me anyway, I'm sure they'll remember you there. _

_As a reply to you demanding I cook for you when I return, I'll do it. But on one condition. Which I'm not going to tell you right now because I know I'll get my ass handed to me when you find out what it is. Don't worry; it's not that bad, just not something that you would normally do. Ever._

_Well, while you're pondering what that might be, how's Brooks going? From what I've heard he's being real shady. I don't trust him Kens, and I dont think you should either. I know I haven't even met the guy but form what Nell's been telling me, this guy spells trouble. Trust you to get partnered with a troublemaker. Just, be careful. If I come home and find that you're in any worse shape that I left you in, there'll be hell to pay. _

_I should probably get going, it's getting late and we rise at four sharp. It wasn't so bad getting up that early if I could go surfing, but I'm in the desert, which means no beaches. I really am dying. I miss you and Monty, a lot._

_D-Rock_

I sighed and re-read the letter. The start didn't really help my stress levels concerning him but I was really surprised when he told me that he hadn't talked back. I never knew Marty Deeks could be so serious. And a knife fight? Really? Just because he could "toast cheese" with one didn't mean he was a master. No matter how many times he called himself "D-Rock" the smile that had graced my face slowly malted off as my sick feeling came back, only worse.

What did he mean, Brooks was shady? I mean I know it's strange that he finishes all his work so quickly and that he's so formal towards me, and not to mention he just _looks_ creep, but what made him such a problem. I sighed and scratched behind Marty's ears, earning me a tail wag and a sloppy kiss. I don't know how I was gonna give him back to Deeks when he got back. The mutt was really growing on me.

Reaching over to the coffee table, I grabbed a pen and paper and started to interrogate Deeks about Brooks and that mystery condition, what? What was it that was so bad that he thought he was gonna get in trouble for asking. That's what I wanted to know. If he didn't tell me soon, he wasn't going to be getting any surfing done when he got back home either.

**There you go :) The plot thickens with Brooks and what is the mystery condition of Deeks'? To tell you the truth... i dont really know either, so i turn to you, my dear readers. if you have any clue what that condition might be, PM me or leave a reveiw. Also, if you wanna tell me how you felt about this chapter, review, I'll love you forever :)**

**TWD**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey there :) heres the next chappie :) please read the authors note at the bottom for an important announcement**

**Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: ?**

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><p><em>I learned to gather souvenirs that home I hoped to send<em>

_And hump them round for months and months, and dump them in the end_

_Merry Christmas Fern!_

_I come bearing good news, and bad news. The good news is pretty good, but the bad news is rather disappointing. I bet you want to hear the bad news first, and if you don't-just skip to the next paragraph and then come back to this one. Okay, here goes. I'm not going to be home for Christmas. Looks like you'll be spreading Christmas cheer at the shelter all by yourself this year. Don't worry though, Monty'll help. They love him there._

_Now for the good news. I think you'll like this because it means I'm coming home. I've just heard from my boss and he said that I'll definitely be home before new years. That'll be almost a full year stuck here in this hellhole. Lucky for me, I've had your letters to keep me sane. My buddy Steve here, who is reading over me shoulder at this moment and should probably go away, thank you. Well, anyway, he's been relying on my stories of you guys to keep him from the edge. Obviously, whatever agency he's from doesn't have a cute little pixy with super computer powers to help him communicate with home. _

_Well, because I wont be home for Christmas, I want you to do something for me. Along with go to the shelter on Christmas eve (I know you were going to anyway), it would mean a lot to me if you put a Christmas tree up. I know you hate them, but it would help you get into the spirit. And who knows… maybe there will be a special gift under there on Christmas day._

_Speaking of special gifts, I made one for everyone on the team. The only downside to that was that my rucksack got too heavy, I had to ditch them. It's so sad, especially since I put so much effort into them. Making them kept me distracted from the blood war that's waging around me. Speaking of blood wars, I have some Intel on your new best friend._

_It turns out Brooks isn't who he says he is. I was coming back from being on lookout an I over heard the sarge and some other person talking about some guy they had planted inside NCIS. He dangerous Kens, you need to alert the others and probably even get a new hideout. His real name is _–-

"Agent Blye,"

"Kensi," the sound of Callen and Brooks calling my name alerted me to the fact that I wasn't alone anymore. I knew it was a bad idea for me to open it in the bullpen, but it was just sitting there so innocently so I opened it. And now Brooks – or whoever he was – was standing over my shoulder trying to read it. Hugging the letter to my chest and glaring daggers at Brooks I said,

"What?"

"Oh, nothing, we've only been trying to get your attention for the last five minutes. What are you reading anyway? It looks handwritten, has Kensi Blye been receiving _love letters_?" he grinned at me and avoided the playful slap I sent his way, "when you're ready, Nell wants to see you. Said it was urgent."

He smiled in my direction and headed off towards the gym leaving me alone with someone I definitely couldn't trust. I smiled tightly at him, folded the letter and slipped it into my jeans pocket. Goddamn their timing. Now I didn't even know his real name, this could end badly.

"So, who's the lucky guy?" He asked offhandedly, like he didn't really care about it. I knew he did though. It was in his eyes. He wanted to know who was writing to me and he wanted to know urgently. I considered the fact that he might have a crush on me but I couldn't sense any jealousy. Only an incessant need to find out everything about me.

"No one really, just some friend that I haven't spoken to in a while. She's in a bit of a mess at the moment and needs some help with getting out of it," that wasn't really a lie. Deeks was in a mess and he _did_ need help getting out of there but what I was really hoping for was that Nell had heard my subtle plea for help. I'd spotted her hanging around the coffee machine and knew she was listening.

"Oh, that's awfully nice of you, I didn't know you had friends outside NCIS, it being so hard to keep identities and all. What's her name? I might know her," Oh, so this is an interrogation now is it? Too bad it's coming to an end because Nell was coming towards me.

"Hey, Nell. Thanks for coming to look at this, my phone's been turning itself off randomly lately and I have no idea why? _Please_ tell me you can fix it." I smiled at Nell, silently praying that she got the hint.

"No problem Kens, I should be able to fix it. Here, let me show you what's wrong."

Brooks, who had been watching the exchange with a strange interest, nodded at me as I followed Nell around the corner.

"Oh my goodness, thank you so much Nell. I don't know how I would've gotten out of that mess if it hadn't been for you." The gratitude was evident in my voice and Nell looked like she'd just pleased her parents.

"It's fine, just be careful from now on. He wants something. I'm not sure if he's here for you, or Deeks but I'm working on it. Just don't give anything away 'till I can get more info on him. Hetty's aware of the situation. Just so you know."

And with that, she turned and hurried back to Eric. After a quick glance around to make sure I wouldn't be followed, Brooks was doing paperwork at his desk and didn't look like he was going anywhere anytime soon, I hurried off to my hideout to finish the letter. I wanted to now who this guy is.

_-His real name is Antonio Alexander and he's wanted for the murder of Aster Thyme and her parents, not to mention a whole stack of other killings. I can't stress enough how carefully you have to tread around this guy. If he finds out I've been writing to you, it could be the end of both of us. _

_And on that depressing note, I have to go. Please put up a Christmas tree, for me? I want to see a photo when I get back. Otherwise no cooking for you. You've been warned. I miss you and Monty more than ever right now. Merry Christmas Kens._

_Be careful,_

_Marty._

So, Antonio Alexander. Just the _name_ sounded evil. Not to mention what he did. Or what he looked like. I'd have to be extremely careful form now on. Knowing about the killings gave me an explanation as to why he was so annoyingly formal. He was a narcissist, he spoke down to me because, to him, he was _so_ much better than me.

Forcing myself to forget about the psychopath that I had been working with from my mind I focused on the first part of the letter. He wasn't coming home for Christmas. My heart sank to the bottom of my stomach I read that. He was right though, I was going to go to the shelter anyway. It was a tradition. The Christmas tree thing though, I did_ not_ want to do.

Its not that I have something against Christmas trees or anything, I just don't like the idea of having a living thing sitting there in my lounge room with nothing under it because, as Brooks said, it was hard to keep friends outside of NCIS. Callen didn't do Christmas. Period. And Sam had a family to look after.

Last year, me and Deeks sat at the shelter until light and just enjoyed each other's company. Apparently he felt the need to control my Christmas even further. Not that I really minded. It just meant that I was going to have to drag out the musty boxes of ornaments and decorations from wherever I've been storing them and dig up some painful memories along with them.

If Deeks asked me to do it, I'll do it. He's not even going to be home for Christmas, the least I could do would be to do what he asks, to keep him happy while he's fighting in what has apparently become a 'blood war'.

Before I submitted myself to the torture that was finding a decent tree this close to Christmas, I wrote back.

_Marty,_

_You couldn't have told me I needed a Christmas tree two weeks ago?_

**PLEASE READ ME!**

**It's just come to my attention that this story isnt very well written... or edited. Starting today I'm gonna go through and edit the whole thing from the begginging. I dont think I'll be deleting the story, just modifying each chapter so please take the time to re-read it when i next update. It would mean a lot to me :)**

**TWD**


	9. Chapter 9

**I have returned! hiii :) Here's the next installment.. BUT! before you read this, make sure you went back and read everything else because its a bit different. There's more focus on Brooks and things like that. Cyber ookies for anyone who does. **

**Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: If I owned it, I wouldnt have to rely on half an hour of internet a day because I'm driving down the coast :/**

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><p><em>I never used to grumble after breakfast in the line<em>

_That the eggs were cooked too lightly, or the bacon cut too fine_

"Thank you and Merry Christmas!" said one lady with two young kids hanging off both arms chattering away about spending Christmas in the shelter and what Santa was going to bring them.

"God Bless," said and old man who looked old and frail, ratty clothes piled on against the biting cold outside. He smiled and I couldn't help but smile back. Seeing the joy on people's faces as I filled their plate with Scrambled eggs or bacon made me wonder I didn't come here more often. As the old man moved on I let the smile fall from my face.

I miss Marty. A lot. I needed one of his stupid jokes right about now, with all the stress from Brooks or Antonio or whatever the hell his name is. And that_ stupid_ Christmas tree. At least I finally got it standing upright. Who knew that you could trip over a dog _so_ many times?

I didn't realise someone was trying to talk to me until they tugged on the bottom of my shirt. I looked down to see one of the kids that the lady I served had handing off her arms. She had to stand on her tiptoes the reach my shirt and he head only just reached the top of my knee. She had enviously curly red hair pulled messily into two lopsided pigtails.

"S'cuse me, miss. Are you Kensi?" the earnest look in her big, brown eyes had me answering honestly, instead of lying, which I should've done.

"Uhh, yeah, sure, I'm Kensi," I smiled down at the girl and he face suddenly lit up like she'd just woken up on Christmas morning and found 20 presents, just for her. I kneeled down to her level, " what's your name? Who told you mine?"

"My name is Charlotte and my mummy's friend told me and her all about you. He tried to tell Courtney too, but she's to little to understand," she told me somewhat shyly, I glanced over to where her mum was sitting, watching the exchange with a grin on her face, the old man I served after her was sitting next to her and doing the same. There was a familiar glint in his eyes though, I couldn't quite place it.

"Is that right, Charlotte? Do you know what mummy's friends name is? She must be a really good mummy to let you come and talk to me, all by yourself. You must be very brave." By now, she was half sitting in my lap and looking at me with a kind of awe in her eyes that slightly unnerved me. She looked down, embarrassed that id called her brave.

"I'm not _that_ brave," she said, looking up again, " Marty's braver. He saves lives _every_ _day!_ Did you know that? He said that you help him _all_ the time. _Even_ when he's been mean to you. My mummy says to always say sorry when you be mean to someone. I think he said sorry to you. I hope you believed him. He was really sad when you didn't talk to him."

"Was he now?" I may have to have a small chat with Deeks about talking about me to his friends at the shelter.

Charlotte's big, brown eyes glistened with adoration while she talked about him, he really must be loved here. She nodded and turned around as he mum called her name, "Charlotte, honey, leave the lady alone. I'm sure she has work to do."

"My mummy says that I have to go now," she said with a smile, "Marty said that he really missed you while he was out slaying dragons. I think he loves you like my daddy loved my mummy before he died."

And with that she slid off my lap and danced back to her mum and the old man. I just sat there, too shocked to move. He _loves_ me? How is that even _possible_? What about me? What do I do now? Better yet, how do _I _feel about him?

"Kensi! Could you please come help with the washing up?" called the woman who runs the shelter, "Are you feeling okay, dear? You look a bit pale."

Her lined face was a mask of concern as she looked down at me.

"Uh, no. I'm fine, thanks. Just a hard day at work," I smiled up at her and pushed myself off the floor. With one last scrutinizing look at me she headed off in the direction of the kitchen.

"ya'know, this could've been better if the eggs and bacon were cooked better," came a voice from beside me.

It sounded like the old man that was with Charlotte's mum. I felt my eyebrow raise in annoyance. He was complaining? Seriously? I abandoned the sudsy water to face the man.

"Well, I'm sorry, but I don't do the cooking. I'm just here to help out," the man just smiled. There was something familiar about it though, like it was something I had seen before, but not in a long time.

"Oh, I know you are. I'm glad you came Kens, I told you my scruff would grow back."

I suddenly knew where I'd seen that smile before.

"_Deeks?_" I barely recognised the half whisper that came out of my mouth. I couldn't believe it! He was back.

"Hey there, Fern. Told you I wouldn't die," he pulled down the many raggy hoods that were covering his head to reveal his blonde mop of hair. I don't know how it happened but the next minute I was slamming into him.

He was back.

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><p><strong>Yayy! Deeks is back :) Sneak peak as to what happens next to anyone who gets the Castle reference that I put in there :) Thanks for reading and Reviewing :)<strong>

**TWD**


	10. Chapter 10

**Helloooo :) Here's the next chapter. Also, congratulations to PolkadottedAngels who was the only person to get the castle reference (which was "slaying dragons" by the way which is from the episodes _Tick, Tick, Tick _and _Boom!_) This chapter doesnt have a reference to the poem because i couldnt quite make it fit... so this is a filler chapter. Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: If i were rich...**

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><p><em>Kens,<em>

_You may wanna get a better lock for your front door-took me all of three seconds to pick it._

_Stay safe,_

_Your partner._

I smiled slightly as I looked down at the now open package in my hands. The box had been sitting under my tree when I got home from my adventure at the homeless shelter. I reached in to grab a donut before I realised that there was something slightly out of place around my apartment.

Silently, I stretched for my gun that was sitting on the coffee table and crouched down surveying the room. I wasn't sure why I was being so jumpy but, after Deeks' warning, I think I was ready to jump at anything. Surveying the room from my crouched position, I finally realised what had been bugging me so much.

At first glance, they just looked like buts of stray fluff that had caught onto the edges of things around the room. A closer inspection revealed them to be the furthest thing from an innocent piece of fluff. Sure, my apartment was messy. But it was a clean messy.

My apartment was bugged.

Sitting up, I carefully examined every small, black, seemingly insignificant thing that I could find until I was satisfied that they were only microphones, not cameras, that were scattered around the place I called home. Deeks' words echoed through my mind as I remembered not to do anything unusual, anything that might tip whoever was watching me off.

"_Ooff! Geez Fern, what've they been feeding you? And you need to be quiet, they're watching us," despite his wide, cheeky smile, his words were stern. There was a tone of seriousness to his voice that I'd never heard until that night. A tone that made me disentangle myself from his arms and actually listen to what he had to say._

"_Who's 'them'?" when he wouldn't meet my eyes…or answer me, I grew worried. Putting both hands on the side of his face and forcing him to look at me I asked again, "Deeks. _Who_ are you talking about?"_

"_That Antonio guy? You know him?" at my nod, his look of desperation grew as he swallowed deeply, "He's big trouble Kens. _Big trouble_. And what ever you do, don't let him know that you know anything. _Anything._ Can you do that? Can you do that for me Kensi?"_

_I nodded again while he tensed up, eyes darting around the small kitchen that I was doing the washing up in. he looked so un-Deeks like, I almost didn't recognise him. He was thinner than before and his eyes. What used to look so happy and carefree was now clouded with thinly veiled anger and worry. Whatever was going on, it wasn't good._

"_Deeks, I-"_

"_I'm sorry, princess, I gotta go. He can't know this happened. _No one_ can know this happened. Not even Hetty, though she probably knows anyway…" with one last bone crushing hug, he pulled back, looked my dead in the eye, turned around and left. He just breezed out of there, leaving me. Standing there with my mouth opening and closing like a stunned mullet until I finally wrapped my head around everything._

A cold, wet nose pulled me from my memory as Monty came to greet me. Having just woken up, it took him a while to register the extra scent I was carrying around. He soon became excited at the smell, his crazy tail almost clearing the coffee table of all its contents, including my donuts from Deeks.

Swiftly leaning down to collect the box before its contents were scattered everywhere, being mindful of the listening ears, I petted Monty between his ears, sending him a look I could only pray that he would understand. That his master wasn't coming home for a while. He seemed to get the message hen his whole body drooped_. I know boy I'm sad too._

Finally collapsing on the lounge and switching on the TV I dipped my hand in to grab a donut, but instead of feeling the soft pastry I expected, my hand brushed a note instead. Assured that there was no cameras around I carefully lifted it from the box and opened it slowly.

_Enjoy the donuts. _

There was one problem about this note that made my heart clench like a vice. The handwriting on it?

_**It wasn't Deeks'.**_

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><p><strong>Dun dun DUN! Sorry to leave you with a cliffy like that but it's just <em>so much fun<em> :D Anyway, thanks for reading and for all those people who took the time to re-read the edited bits.. you guys are awesome:) **

**TWD**


	11. Chapter 11

**Herro :) I know I've taken my time with post in this but i have a whole list of reasons... and they're all pretty valid. Anyone reading this got a mac? If you do can you please tell me how to work pages properly cause it took me two days to find out how to make the document compatible to this site. I also when away for four days and eft the internet dongle at home-.- Annyyway you probably don't care and i starting to ramble... this chapter has two parts to it and depending on how much peace and quiet i get tonight with two seven year olds running around, it may be up tonight or tomorrow or maybe next week because I'm lazy. :)**

**Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: my bank account is $0.00, what do you think?**

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><p><em>I never told the sergeant just exactly what I thought<em>

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><p><em>There was one problem about this note that made my heart clench like a vice. The handwriting on it? <em>

_**It wasn't Deeks'.**_

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><p>"All I'm saying is that if you keep eating that stuff you call food, you're gonna die before I can kill you myself for being so damn stupid."<p>

"And all _I'm_ saying is that you're not my mother, so, stop telling me what I can and can't eat," Callen said snidely, taking another, huge bite form the bacon cheeseburger he was currently struggling to keep in one piece. half swallowing the mouthful, he turned to me, "Te' 'I'm Keshi. 'ell 'I'm i's noth gonna do me any 'arm."

This kind of thing happened at least one a week, the talking around the mouthful of grease, however, was a new thing.

"If you're going to eat it like that, i can totally understand Sam shooting you, Callen," I said, looking over in disgust as he swallowed what seemed like half a burger in one large gulp, hearing these guys fight over each others eating habits had put a strain on me. Every time i heard that godforsaken argument, I couldn't help but think of Deeks, and the way he used to grill me about those kind of things.

Tuning the bickering couple out, I turned back to my paperwork. Brooks, as usual, was nowhere to be seen. Most likely, he went out for lunch. Probably to his house. Probably to monitor mine. Jerk.

Seeing Eric walk down the stairs from OPS had my heart lurching. We had a case. Brooks had come back an hour ago and had been looking at me weird ever since. A lot of 'what ifs' had been wondering around my head ever since. If the was a case - that meant that I could push that to the back of my mind until it was over.

Callen noticed the analyst as well, "We have a case Eric?"

"Not you," he said casting a glance in Callen's direction, "this one's kind of just for Kensi."

Three sets of eyes trained themselves on me. As if _I_ knew what was going on. I was usually the _last_ to know anything. I guess thats why they were staring at me with such confused looks on their faces. Except Brooks of course, he was looking at me with suspicion. He always was.

I entered OPS to find Nell grinning ridiculously at me. Eric had a bit of a smirk too. What was going on?

"_So,_" Nell started, bright smile never wavering, "we hear that you have a bit of a problem with pest control."

_Pest control? _As far as I knew, my house was entirely pest free... _Oh..._

Considering the fact that Alexander could have ears anywhere, I decided to play along, "_Oh _my God, _how_ did you know? They've been around for nearly a week now and its driving me _insane!_ Well, mainly because I cant let my favourite shaggy animal come inside. Who knew right? Bugs that can scare things like that."

I could see the cogs working in both Eric and Nell's heads. _Damn,_ I had completely lost them with the shaggy animal thing. Now I'd have to explain it to them. I was trying to think of a new way to tell them that Deeks was back and Brooks was onto him, when I saw something click on Nell's face.

"Thats too bad. I really feel sorry for you, Kens. Especially since I know _exactly how you feel."_

My heart sped up at that last part, looking me straight in the eye. Antonio Alexander was onto her too.

"Ya know, I know an ex marine sergeant who now helps with pest control. Maybe he could help?" Eric pitched in this time, finally figuring out what I was saying. Nell probably told him that her apartment was bugged, "In fact, he's coming over to my house for drinks tomorrow night if you want to come and meet him?"

Nell's face told me that us much as I usually hate going to other peoples houses, I'd like this little trip to Eric's. _Very much._

"Sure, Eric, I'd love to," I smiled at him and he returned, I had to have a go at Nell later for telling him. But, for now, I had to just go with the flow.

I was half way out the door before I realised something, "Oh, and Eric?"

"Yeah, kens?"

"Can I bring the shaggy animal? I think he'd be happy to meet the guy who's going to debug my apartment too."

He laughed as I walked away.

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><p><strong>Tadaa! who is the mystery sergeant? Oh, wait, thats probably really easy... mehh. Thankyou to all you awesome people who reviewed, alerted and favourites this, you ae=re all awesome :)<strong>

**TWD**


	12. Chapter 12

**Helloooo :) Before you all kill me... read the new chappie... it would make me very happyy. Part two of "I never told the sergeant just exactly what I thought" is now here! **

**Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: I can't even pay for a makeup appointment for my ball today... as if I'm gonna be able to afford this **

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><p><em>I never told the sergeant just exactly what I thought<em>

"C'mon Monty, it's time to go see the sergeant." I'd spent the last half an hour trying to get Monty into my car. I couldn't quite get through to him that we were going to see his master. Yep, we were going to see Deeks. Not that the sleaze bag, Antonio Alexander, knew that.

After about ten more minutes of begging and pleading with the stubborn mutt, he finally gave up and got into the car. I put on the stupid talk radio that Deeks always put on for him in a vain hope that he would understand. Apparently the dog was smarter than he looked. He perked up right away.

Enduring the talk radio as best I could, I pulled into Eric's drive. I think it was then that it actually hit me. I was going to see Deeks again. The idea had my heart fluttering about in my chest like I was some kind of teenager sneaking out to meet her new boyfriend without her parents knowing.

Not that I knew what that felt like, of course.

Monty jumped out of the car and trotted happily to the door, stopping to inspect things along the way. I took my time getting there. What if it was a trap? What if he stayed as the sergeant the whole time and I didn't get a chance to _really_ speak to him?

"Hey Kens, I'm so glad you're here," Eric's voice pulled me out of my worry, "come in, I know someone who will be happy to see you."

I smiled hello at him and cautiously walked through the door. Was Eric's place bugged too? A loud _Ooooff_ and a "Hey there boy" Gave me my answer as I rounded the corner to find the shaggy liaison himself, almost doubled over, cooing and petting Monty.

I felt a smile pull on my face as Nell came to stand beside me. She said quietly, "We've checked the house for bugs, there were none. We did, however, find out that Alexander knows what Deeks looks like. So, just in case, Deeks provided someone to play the part should worst come to worst."

Someone to play the part? That wasn't exactly the information I was hoping for.

"Thanks Nell," I whispered as I continued to watch Marty and Monty get reacquainted. God, I had missed him.

After a few minutes, he _still_ hadn't noticed me standing, leaning against the door frame. It was only when Eric offered him a drink that he tore his attention away from the fur ball in front of him and took stock of the room.

"Good to see where your priorities lie, Shaggy. I'm sure Monty's very happy to see you."

"Aww, c'mon Fern, you know that if I don't give him attention he'll ignore me forever. Besides, I don't see you almost knocking me over with barely suppressed glee now do I?"

I shot him a look and his playful smirk fell a bit. He glanced at Eric and Nell who suddenly fell over themselves, making excuses to get out of the room. When the two finally left, there was a thick silence. There was a great, big, purple elephant in the room and I wasn't sure who was willing to acknowledge it first.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, he slowly got up ad walked towards me. When he got there, he slowly wrapped his arms around me in a huge hug. Instantly, my arms went around his waist, seemingly of their own accord. Not that I was complaining or anything. I had missed him more in the short amount of time that he had been home than the whole time he had been away. I suppose it was the element of real danger, now that I think about it.

When he was away, I couldn't see what he was up against. Now that he's home though, and the enemy is someone I work with _every_ _day_. It becomes so real and I wasn't sure if I was quite ready to loose him just yet.

I hadn't realised I'd been crying until he gently pulled my face from where it had been buried in his chest and I saw an embarrassingly large tear stain on his shirt. Great. First I insult him and then I stain his shirt.

"Hey, are you crying?" His tone was amused but his eyes were concerned, "I told you - I'm fine. I'm home and I'm not going anywhere. You _know_ that."

"I know, it's just that-" I stopped. It's just what? _I didn't want to see you die? I can't stand the thought of not having you around? I've been working with a freaking __**murderer**__ for the past year while you've been away saving the world?_ Unfortunately, before I got to even _start_ on any of that, Eric came barging in, a panicked look on his face that had me unconsciously tightening my grip on Deeks.

"What is it Eric?" Deeks' arms clenched around me and I couldn't help but feel.._.loved._

"We've got an incoming. Deeks, you may want to get out of here and send in your backup. Now. Alexander is coming," his words were rushed as he did a double take, "Kens, have you been _crying?"_

"Not _really_ the best time for that now Eric," Deeks muttered as he sprang into action, letting go of me and gathering his stuff. Leaving me standing there, stunned. He's leaving. Again, "I'm sorry Princess but I gotta go. We **will** catch him and I **will** be fine."

And with that he kissed my temple softly, turned around, and walked out the back door. Leaving me standing in the same position he left me in not too long ago.

Before I had much time to process what had just happened there was another man standing in the room. I had to look twice to make sure that Deeks wasn't going to just bite the bullet and face Brooks. This guy, look exactly like him. It was like they were long lost brothers.

I could hear Eric stalling Alexander at the door as Deeks' long lost twin gave me a once over and nodded, "Sup, Kensi right? Marty told me he said my name was Steve. Nice to meet you."

I didn't have a chance to open my mouth, let alone actually _say_ something before Brooks came storming in.

His face was a cloud of suspicious rage as he surveyed the room carefully, completely ignoring Eric who had hurried after him and was now asking him to leave. His eyes locked on the Deeks clone and I had to swallow a giggle at his barely concealed excitement.

"So, you must be the famous Deeks," he said curtly, sticking out his hand for "Steve" to shake, "I don't believe we've been introduced. I'm Brooks."

Steve regarded his hand and decided to ignore it, instead, fixing him with a cold, hard glare that made him shrink a little.

"Yep, that would be me. Speaking of me, I really should be going now. Walk me to the door Kensi?"

Casting a suspicious glance his way I answered, "Sure Shaggy, you owe me an explanation."

As soon as we were out of earshot he was whispering hurriedly in my ear, "Okay, I know that you guys had a little letter thing going on while we were out. So, here's my address and when I see Marty I'll give anything you like to him. It was you that kept him together while we were out there you know. And if I didn't have his stories of you guys I'd be just a screwed. Thank you."

We'd reached the door and he leaned down and gave me a quick hug, a rouse for putting a small slip of paper in my pocket.

"Take care Deeks," I said happily as I could under the circumstances and watched him walk out the door.

**xxxxxxxxxxLATER THAT NIGHTxxxxxxxxxxx**

I sat at home rereading the address for what seemed like the hundredth time. Eventually, I took a deep breath and started writing.

_Marty,_

_You know, I never did get to tell the Sergeant just exactly what I thought..._

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><p><strong>There you have it. Hope you all liked it and a great big THANKYOU to all that have reviewed and alerted this... especially when i haven't updated in forever... I love you all. Now, time to go get ready for my ball :)<strong>

**TWD**


	13. Chapter 13

**Don't kill me! *cowers in a corner* I blame _extreme_ writers block... and school, definatley school. Word of advice: NEVER start an English literature course half way through a semester. EVER. Anywayy, here's the next chappie. Stay tuned down the bottom for an announcement.:**

**Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: nopee**

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><p><em>I never did a pack drill, for I never quite got caught<em>

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><p>There was Deeks. Right there in front of me. Just lying there, on the floor. Apparently doing nothing. As I got closer though, I realised there was something very wrong with the way he was laying. I took another step and felt the world shift from under my feet. There was something red and wet seeping out from under him. Something that I was sure was supposed to stay <em>inside<em> of his body. With my heart in my throat I crouched down beside is limp form.

As I got closer I realised that there was something about the Deeks that was bleeding out in front of me. Feeling strangely calm, I brushed some disheveled hair from his forehead, trying to unsuccessfully push the nagging feeling out of my head. It was while I was doing this that I noticed what it was that was bugging me. It was Deeks, that much I knew for certain, but his nose. His nose wasn't his. This particular nose belonged to Alexander.

Just as soon as I'd made this realisation, the blood stopped flowing out of Deeks and started sucking back up like some kind of grotesque human vacuum cleaner. The space we were in grew cold and hot almost instantaneously, what had my heart in my throat though, was his face. What had stated off as and alien nose on a familiar face, soon morphed into a face I knew all too well, a face that I didn't plan on seeing any time soon. A face that, after all the blood was sucked back into his body, sucked in a deep breath, opened his eyes, and smirked down his long, oily nose at me. The face of Antonio Alexander.

_Run._ That was the first thought that entered my mind at the sight of him. Too bad my body seemed frozen in place and I suddenly felt a new kind of sympathy towards anyone who had ever been frelted before. Sensations of hot and cold collided over my body and I screamed at myself to run.

The sleaze ball that I was frozen over, snickered and sat up, pushing me off him as he did. I saw him reach behind him for what I knew would be some kind of weapon and I could have sworn that in that moment my heart would've beaten right out of my chest. I wanted to scream, wanted to run. Wanted to do _anything_ but my body wasn't having it. The sound of a switchblade opening quickly caught my attention as he leered closer, brandishing the sharpest knife I had ever seen.

My body seemed to convulse as he came closer, angling the knife towards my neck. Convulsions turned to full throttled shaking as the knife came closer still. Just as I felt the sliver of piercing cold that was the sharp edge of the knife against my neck, the world went white.

**lliinnneeeee brreeaakkkk**

"_Kensi! God dammit, Kensi. Wake up!"_

A voice pulled me from the scene. Wait. That was _Deeks_' voice. I wasn't supposed to hear his voice. He was dead. I think.

"wha-? Deeks, aren't you dead somewhere? Leave me alone, I'm trying to sleep," Yeah, so I'm not a morning person. I would be surprised if he understood one word of what I'd just mumbled out.

Hang on a second. Sleep. I was trying to sleep. That means that Deeks wasn't dead, or that he somehow morphed into Brooks. That also means that he was in my house, in my room. Watching me sleep. Opening my eyes seemed like a good idea right about now.

Groaning, I rolled over to check the time. 2:13. I was gonna kill him, no matter how much I missed him.

"Deeks, what the hell? Its not even light out. Better yet, what the hell are you doing in my house, in my room?" By now, I was sat up, covers pulled up to my chin and staring at him like he had grown two heads. He studied his feet guiltily and something told me I wasn't going to like his answer.

"I've been coming every night, just to see that you were okay. You were having a nightmare and it's not like I could just let it continue. Took me forever to wake you up though. What were you dreaming about?"

_You. You being dead. You morphing into the phsycho killer thats trying to end your life. Said phsycho killer trying to kill me. The same killer that has bugs throughout my apartment. The one that can probably hear every word of our conversation. _Shit.

"Deeks, you gotta get out of here. Quick," I tried to keep my voice steady, and failed. I couldn't work out why he had been putting his life in danger like this. Every night. Stupid, stupid man, "what the hell is wrong with you? You do realise that you could be killed right? Killed as in dead. As in no longer living. Dead."

He just chuckled and shook his head at me, ridiculous grin appearing on his face, "Relax, Fern. I had Eric record a normal night of you sleeping, hack into the microphones and put it on a loop. That way he can't hear anything. You snore by the way," He added as an afterthought.

"And you didn't think that it was a good idea to tell me? You know, come while I was still awake? Not asleep like you're some creep coming to kill me in the middle of the night?"

The smile fell from his face. There was something he wasn't telling me.

"If I had come while you were awake, _he_ would've known. Did you know that he sits in the tree-line and watches your shadow in the curtains every night, Kensi? Did you know that he only ever leaves _two hours_ after your shadows stops appearing in the windows? Did you know that? He's _watching _you Kens, basically _stalking_ you and there's nothing I can do about it. So, yeah, I'm watching you sleep. Who knows when he might decide that he needs to kidnap you to bring me out of hiding. Kill you while you sleep to send me a message. He's coming after _me_ because _I _screwed up a mission. I can't just hide away and pretend I don't know that He's gonna use you as bait and not feel _responsible," _he finished, breathing heavily and refusing to meet my eyes.

He had obviously been running the same, scary scenarios of me getting killed that I had of him being blown up when he was abroad. He was beating himself up about something that he couldn't have helped.

"Better me than someone who didn't sign up for it," was my brilliant answer, "He's not going to get me because I won't let him. You seriously think he could take me on?" I asked, hoping the almost humour was enough to get him to smile again.

He halfheartedly lifted one corner of his mouth in a sad attempt at a smile, "Of course not. I should get going. Don't want you to miss out on any beauty sleep now do we?"

Sure, he smiles at his own jokes. He stood from where he was perched, on the corner of my bed, offered me one last Deeks grin, leant down and softly kissed my forehead. And then, for the third time since this whole thing started, he walked away.

**Liinneeeee Breaaakkkkkkk**

When I woke up the next morning, I had convinced myself that it was some sort of twisted dream. I dragged myself out of bed an into the kitchen. I was half way through a hearty breakfast of bacon and eggs when I noticed it. Just sitting there on my living room table, like it was the most innocent thing in the world.

I walked over to it slowly, not sure whether I would like who it was from or not.

_Princess_ was scrawled on the outside of the envelope and my heart sped up. It wasn't a dream.

_Kensi,_

_When I was in training for the thing that started this train-wreck, they had this think called 'pack drill' every night. I got out of it because I never quite got caught. You caught me last night though, doesn't mean he did. I can assure you, He wont._

_Deeks._

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><p><strong><em>There you go :) I finally got tumblr guys ! IF you want to follow, I'm the writing dampire (I'll post a ink on my profile). On tumblr, to stop the ridiculous break between chapters, I've asked people to send me prompts in my ask. So anyone in the NCIS:LA, Castle, or The Mentalist fandom wants to send me a prompt, just drop it in my ask.. or PM me. Lastly, THANK YOU to all the people that have stuck by this story, only a few more lines to go and it's finished. Thanks for reading, reviewing, alerting and all that jazz. YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME:)<em>**

**_TWD_**


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